In 2021, the need for an article explaining consent is disappointing. Haven’t we come to a point where we understand that no means no and that’s that? Although we have come leaps and bounds in terms of understanding what constitutes sexual assault and holding predators more accountable than ever, there are still many individuals out there who have a hard time grasping the severity and importance of the issue.
To put it simply, consent refers to the act of giving permission in order to perform an action. For example, agreeing to go to the movies with your friends would be a form of giving consent. It’s not a concept that is hard to understand and in our daily lives we give and seek consent for lots of different things. However, when it comes to the realm of sexual behavior, understanding the nuances of consent seems to be difficult to comprehend for some individuals.
What most people understand about consent is that a simple yes means the green light in going forward, however, there are many other factors that play into the legitimacy of consent. If someone is under the influence of drugs or alcohol they may not be able to consent to anything because they aren’t in the right state of mind. If someone is below the age of 18 and doesn’t fully understand what they are getting themselves into, they are also unlikely able to give consent. Sexual consent isn’t cut and dry because sex isn’t cut and dry. It’s an adult act and should be treated as such – only in the right state of mind, with all the information presented is an individual actually able to give consent. What you should be looking for is not a haphazard yes, rather one that is enthusiastic and excited to be in the situation with you.
“A person’s value doesn’t stem from their sexuality and this misinformed narrative where individuals believe that being rejected or receiving a no equals a lessened value unto themselves is a major reason why people find it so hard to either grasp or – in the worst case- care about obtaining consent.”
At the end of the day, sex is a beautiful thing that brings individuals closer together. It can bring babies into the world and plays a huge part in the lives of many adults. However, because it has become such a taboo subject in our culture where we can barely even speak about it, so many individuals don’t understand how to (1) ask for consent or (2) determine if the consent they are getting is coming from a person who is actually able to give it. These small distinctions between an informed and enthusiastic yes or a pressure-induced inebriated yes are where the nuances of consent exist. Understanding this is the key to understanding consent.
Source: MCC
The only way around this is through education. Our school system needs to bring about the subject of consent from a young age. Only through normalizing that it is okay to say no and to respect the no of someone else, will we be able to bring up a generation of adults who have no issue comprehending consent. A person’s value doesn’t stem from their sexuality and this misinformed narrative where individuals believe that being rejected or receiving a no equals a lessened value unto themselves is a major reason why people find it so hard to either grasp or – in the worst case- care about obtaining consent.
As a rule of thumb, remember that consent is key in creating meaningful physical and sexual experiences. We all have a right to make our own decisions about our bodies and who we choose to share them with. If someone says no to you, take it in stride and move on. Don’t try to guilt, persuade or force them into doing something they don’t want to. The only way that consent should look is with excitement and enthusiasm coming from a person who is in the right state of mind to make a decision – that way, you’ll definitely be in for a good time!